A Bloody Surprising Development
by Fanless
Summary: When Percy makes a shocking confession, Luke has an unfortunate reaction. Parodic OOC Luke; rated T for brief mild language and slight suggestivity.


This one was inspired in style and concept by my brilliant though noticeably unhinged cousin KeT, whom you can easily find here. Just follow the trail of daisies, unicorn farts and Batman DVDs.

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"… I guess what I'm trying to say is, uh—I like you, Luke. As more than. You know. A counselor. Or friend. Or whatever."

Luke gaped as Percy shuffled in the dust of the arena, pink and uncharacteristically bashful. This was a shock comparable in visceral impact only to the moment he'd received the dragon-claw scar, or possibly even the time someone or –two (hello, Stolls) had rigged the entire Aphrodite table with whoopee cushions; maybe even more shocking than the night he'd snuck into the woods with Silena Beauregard for a little "one-on-one training" at Kissing Rock and tripped over Beckendorf and Malcolm.

His most fervent dreams—the embarrassing ones that happened every other night like clockwork and resulted in his scrupulously cleaning his own sheets—had just come true.

"…"

For once in his life, Luke was speechless. He felt like bursting into song, preferably something jubilant and Motown-y like "Someone Who Needs Me", or even "Help Yourself"; but he felt it might have startled Percy, like the delicate fawn he was, into bolting—and nothing could spoil this priceless, glittering moment. So his lips, though parted and quivering, longing to press themselves against Percy's sugary skin, remained silent.

Percy glanced up. "Um. Is that okay?"

Oh.

My.

Gods.

He wanted to know if that was okay.

The boyish ruling blossom, the crown prince, of the garden of Luke's regard wanted to know if it was_ okay_ that he'd just made Luke the _happiest man alive_.

"I uh well oh uh…" Luke sputtered, attempting to overcome the insignificance of mere words. "Uh…"

Percy flushed, misinterpreting. "Oh, I'm sorry. Forget it. It's no big deal."

_No._

_Big._

_Deal?!_

"No wait nonono!" Luke blurted, slapping himself (physically; Percy jumped and backed away warily) across the cheek with the scar on it. _OhshitohshitohSHITthatstings…_ Tears welled in his eyes. Again misinterpreting, Percy blinked.

"Oookaayy," he muttered, still backing away. "I'll just. Um. I'll be going now. Sorry."

"Noit'sfine!" Luke yelled. Percy froze. "I mean… it's just…"

Luke paused, as a host of images rose before his blurred vision. He and Percy, holding hands on the beach… He and Percy, curled up in the crowded Hermes cabin, picking out constellations… He and Percy in the supply closet— who needs their virginity, anyway?… A flood of warmth suffused his being, bringing red to his face, cascading down his shirt.

Wait, what?

Luke realized he'd suffered a massive nosebleed only after he'd also realized that he was lying on the floor, having momentarily swooned from rapid blood loss.

Above him, Percy dithered. "Oh, geez! Uh, I'll go get some help. Grover! Grover, help!"

Dimly, Luke felt himself being pulled to his feet and dragged away, presumably to the medical cabin. His head spun. Everything had gone to Tartarus in a hand-basket. After this debacle, Percy would never be able to look at him again.

"Luke! Hey, Luke!"

Percy was jogging alongside him.

"Can you hear me?"

Even though it made his temples protest, Luke nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak yet.

"Great! Then..." Percy grinned. "Do I get an answer?"

_Oh._ Y_eah. Right..._

"Yes, Percy! A thousand times yes!" Luke cried, dizzy and overcome. "I'll marry you any day! We can invite all the gods, and Hermes can give me away, and Annabeth will be your bridesmaid and weep tears of pure jealousy!"

Percy chuckled a little self-consciously. The medic was giving him odd looks. "Don't mind him," he mumbled. "Haha. Must be hallucinating. Poor guy."

As the world before him blurred, Luke surrendered to unconsciousness in bliss. It had all been worth it. Every single bit of agony. This had saved _him_ the stress of confessing, after all.

Life was joy!

Now all he had to do was explain to Silena...

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Enjoy? You know the drill! Hope a less tragic look at this underappreciated pairing was fun for you all. ^^ If you're a fan and you know someone else who is, tell them about me! It'll make my plot to form an army of LP fans that much easier.


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